Chickens Are Decent People

High Five New York City

2009-09-27T23:15:00.000-05:00

HeadOn! Apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn! HeadOn! AHHHH!!!

2009-09-12T14:20:00.004-05:00

Crowell Advertising, out of Salt Lake City, has come up with yet another advertising award. BUT this isn't another chance for advertisers to pat themselves on the bat.

This award is called "The Tracy's-Crap Advert Award."

They had me at "Crap."

Their press release starts with:

Ever see advertising that's so horrendous, you wish you could somehow get back at whoever made it by burning down their house and nominating them for an award of some sort for bad advertising?

Nicely done Crowell. Nicely done.

Users are asked to submit crap advertisement to their website, here, and vote on the crappiest of them all. (You can submit up until mid-October.)

On the homepage now is that delight of an ad for HeadOn! pain reliever, Vermont Teddy Bears, and no joke, an AIDS awareness ad that has Hitler having sex with a naked woman with the tag: "AIDS is a mass murderer."

Seriously. Someone gave that a green light.

So HeadOn! (gotta love bad jokes) over to the "Cream of the Crap" page and click away. If you're as sensitive to ads as I am you'll really appreciate this site.

P.S.

Crowell have branched out to make some really cool greeting cards you can buy that aren't "your average grocery greeting cards." Funny stuff.

Eight years after, "What now?"

2009-09-11T13:43:00.004-05:00

I wasn't sure what to post today.

Anyone who was alive eight years ago can still see those images whenever some one says "9/11." To me, posting a video/pic would just ad to the ad nauseam that surrounds the over exposure of that day.

Instead, I'm going to post one of the positive memories I have surrounding that awful/akward few weeks that followed 9/11/01.

Nine days after the attacks, Jon Stewart and The Daily Show came back on the air. Stewart was visibly shaky and didn't seem sure how to get the show back on course.

Peppered with his self-depreciating humor, Stewart's opening eight minutes were some of the most honest and touching moments of any TV personality I've ever seen.

This was the beginning of my adoration of TDS. Take the time to watch.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

September 11, 2001

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Healthcare Protests

Miracle Whip, condiment of the hipsters.

2009-09-03T01:11:00.008-05:00

It's easy to see why advertisers want to get into our faces. We've grown up as the TV generation. And that's not without incident.

The fact that we're impulsive and have a reputation of being terrrible with our money might have something to do with our vacuum-tubed babysitters. That and the Ritalin.

But because of this upbringing, we've had 1,ooo's of ads shoved down our throats, everyday, since we've been able to sit-up.

One benefit of this is that we've learned how to smell a rat.

I present our rat:

Do you feel it? That nasty, nauseous feeling in your stomach? That's a natural reaction (from a human being) that comes about when old people try to sound like/relate to "the kids."

It's similar to the feeling that you get when your mom sends you a friend request on Facebook or when you see that middleaged woman getting down to the Pussy Cat Dolls at the bar. It just feels WRONG.

Another ad from this campaign here. (Read some of the comments.)

In the event of an ad executive hitting the "Random Blog" button on Blogger.com and the stars align to cause them to land on MY site, this is my attempt to avoid some of this multimillion dollar foolishness in the future: I've found an article from Tom Humbarger on SocialMediaToday that gives some insight on how to behave in the very-easy-to-look-like-an-idiot realm of Twitter. Original article here.

(BTW, SocialMediaToday gets special props from me because they have a story on their front page about the A-MAZING new blog People of Walmart. A-FREAKIN-MAZING.)

Humbarger: "Here is a short list of best practices for corporate Twittering that I compiled for one of my clients. Most small-to-medium businesses should be able to achieve results with a couple of hours of effort per week."

Getting Started

* Pick a Twitter name that matches your company name or alternatively a name that includes your company name such as @companyteam
* Build up a level of tweets so other users will see you as credible and relevant – the minimum number of tweets that you should accumulate before you start promoting your account is somewhere in the 50 to 100 range (most users will ignore you if you have few tweets or haven’t been tweeting for very long)
* Fill out your profile completely including a URL as most people will not follow anyone with an incomplete profile
* Create a customized Twitter homepage (that matches your corporate brand as much as possible) to provide additional information about your company and products

Getting your message out

* Try to tweet 5 to 8 times per day, and you should space them out throughout the day if possible
* Only 20% or so of your tweets should be related to your company or include a marketing or ‘advertising’ message – the others should be tweets about related topics that provide value to your followers or show a more human side of your company; people will stop paying attention to you if you use Twitter exclusively for self-promotion
* Most of your tweets should contain a link to a website, blog post, article, etc. – these are the types of tweets will establish your Twitter account as being a source of great content and worthy of being followed back
* Use HootSuite’s to schedule your tweets and to track your tweet clickthrus and their Hootlet app to easily tweet the URLs of content at the source – Hootsuite also lets you include multiple users on the same account which can help to spread out the Twitter workload

Following people

* Use one or more of the Twitter directories (WeFollow or Twellow) to locate potential users to follow based on their interests and geography
* Follow anyone who mentions your company or keywords that important for your business
* Periodically do a Twitter search on your company name or click on @yourname from right panel to see who is re-tweeting you or mentioning your name
* @reply people to thank people or to just reach out to them
* RT or re-tweet posts that you think are worthy – generally these people will notice and start following you
* You don’t want to grow your Twitter following too quickly – steady growth is better and a goal of growing 100 to 200 per month is a good start for most businesses

And finally as noted in The Guide to Corporate Twittering, you should:

* Be honest
* Be responsive and human
* Be nice

I really like the last three. Very important to sound like a human. Happy Twittering.

Derby della Madonnina

2009-09-01T11:08:00.004-05:00

This wouldn't be MY blog if I failed to mention what went down this past Saturday.

FC Internazionale, or Inter Milan, squared off against their city rivals AC Milan in the 200th edition of the Derby della Madonnina.

Translated for American audiences: it's a game between two of the biggest soccer teams in the world that's been played twice a year for the last 100 years. And just to make things a little more tense, the two teams have shared the same stadium for the last 62 of those years.

This game has moved beyond rivalry to a spectacle that catches the attention of the entire world of football.

With the series tied at 37 wins apiece, the stage was set for a colossal clash.

Inter got the memo. Milan didn't.

It took Inter 6 minutes to get their first shot on goal. It took Milan over 60.

What resulted was an ass kicking of a magnitude that Milan hadn't suffered in 11 years.

All of this comes after a transfer window where Inter sold one of the top 5 players in the world and still came out on top.

And for that all I can say is: Grazie Moratti. Grazie Mourinho. Grazie Nerazzurri.

"The Conscience of American Journalism"

2009-08-31T15:07:00.003-05:00

Now days, there is so much pre-interview prepping about what you can/can't say, what the current talking points are, and how to keep the interviewer "on topic;" it's usually a effort in futility to try and get the guests to say anything interesting or, god forbid, honest.

For that reason, I love when interviewers get the tables turned on them. They seem to have so many opinions bottled up, when asked, they come rushing out.

That was the case last Friday when Bill Moyers, an ex-White House press secretary under LBJ and 38 year veteran of PBS, sat down with Bill Maher.

The topics ranged from what to do in Afghanistan to comparisons of JFK's & Obama's oratory abilities. But the bulk of the time was spent on health care reform. After his interview with Wendell Potter a few weeks back, you know Moyers was chomping at the bit.

Everything's real!

2009-08-28T14:39:00.004-05:00

A great video from the guys over at FunnyorDie.com, that tells us, you should believe everything you hear. Sounds like good advice to me. Speaking of, did you hear Obama wants our foreskins?

Death Panel Advisors - watch more funny videos

Smaller. Faster. Smarter.

2009-08-27T15:48:00.004-05:00

Anyone familiar with online trends knows the formula for many sites is something along the lines of:

Site becomes popular.
Giant corporation buys popular site.
Giant corp tries to monetize site.
People run away and make new site popular. (See: MySpace, Napster)

With the news that Rupert Murdoch will soon begin charging for online content published by his media conglomerate, one has to wonder, what's the future of online news?

Nic Brisbourne, of PaidContent.org, has some really interesting ideas on where the online news game is heading.

He argues that with so many news outlets available online, once one source starts charging for content the masses will migrate to another site. Headlines are headlines, no matter the site you get them from.

But abundances create scarcities.

According to Brisbourne, the scarcities in online news are "...interesting stories, thought provoking analysis, conversation and community, and trust/verification."

He expands on that by adding:

"Interesting stories go beyond simple reporting of what has occurred, bringing in relevant context and staying with a topic as it unfolds. Thought provoking analysis will dare to shock, and to be wrong. Conversation and community will both make the experience richer for the active participant and improve the quality of the content on the site for more casual reader. Trust and verification will make you go back to one site rather than another as you know the stories there will be more accurate (note breaking news should be published first and verified second, with appropriate caveats)."

The companies who follow this model won't necessarily have to charge for content. Just keep overhead to a minimum and "leverag(e) (their) position in the community to offer services no one else can."

Full article here.

Kill the clutter before the clutter kills you.

2009-08-25T14:47:00.008-05:00

It always seems like I'm drowning in bookmarks. That or have a bookmark I want to read but it's on a different computer.

But no more!

Now I've found InstaPaper.com, which is like your bookmark folder if it were designed for the absentminded.

They offer some great options. Basic stuff like one-touch bookmarking and the ability to create folders. But there are some more advanced options, like being able to archive your bookmarks, or viewing your pages text only for easy mobile viewing. Even better, the iPhone app gives you the option to save the pages where you can view them sans Internet connection.

All for the Internet-only low, low price of diddly squat. Not bad, IMO.

Advertisers don't like crazy.

2009-08-24T23:24:00.004-05:00

After a long list of bat-shit-crazy things Glenn Beck has said, the conservative talk show host has apparently pushed advertisers too far.

So, which crazy straw broke the camel's back?

Joking about poisoning Nancy Pelosi? No.

Screaming/shrieking at a radio caller who disagreed with him? No.

Beck actually saying he believed our mixed race president was a racist? Yahtzee!

Ad Age has picked up on the story that many online discussion boards and aggregators, like Reddit, have been talking about for weeks.

ColorofChange.com has been leading the calls for a boycott of GB's prime-time show on Fox News because of his "racist" comment. So far, 36 advertisers have demanded that their ad spots won't appear on Beck's show.

And these aren't no-name companies like the Extenze male enhancement guys but big wigs like Wal-Mart, Procter & Gamble, S.C. Johnson, Clorox, and Sprint.

Clorox has gone as far as to say not only will they be pulling all future ads from GB but they are also avoiding all "inflammatory" political talk shows, right or left, for the foreseeable future.

This raises an interesting problem for advertisers.

The political talking heads like Beck, Hannity, O'Reilly and Olbermann have made a name for themselves by being incendiary. Which is bad. But they have the highest ratings on cable news. Which is good. So what's an ad buyer to do? Can't be sure but this consumer is hoping they'll choose the high road.

They are talking about me.

2009-08-22T13:00:00.003-05:00

When they talk about 47 million uninsured Americans, they're talking about me.

When they talk about people being denied health care because of "preexisting conditions," they're talking about me.

I eat well; exercise 5 times a week; and stay away from the cancer sticks but because I was diagnosed with leukemia at 2.5 years old, I'm not deserving of health care.

But they can't say that.

It's about stopping the death panels or those who want to "kill grandma." There can't be a legitimate debate because then people would see the human side of the argument.

Wendell Potter was the head of corporate communications for CIGNA, one of the nation's largest health insurance companies. He was at the forefront of the corporate spin that was designed derail health care reform efforts over the last decade and a half.

That was until his conscience revealed its ugly head.

Below is one of the best videos I've seen about the health care reform "debate." Potter lets you into the mindset of a health care executive and relives how once he put a human face on the problem he couldn't go back to his ivory tower.

Fascinating stuff.

The Little Revolution That Could.

2009-06-18T20:41:00.009-05:00

Check out the face of a proud Ahmadinejad supporter.

There had been seven days of rallies and protests since Ayatollah Khamenei's last public appearance. To say everyone was anxiously awaiting Khamenei's speech today would be a huge understatement.

The ayatollah's speech could have taken one of two paths. Either acknowledge the protestors concerns of a rigged election and try and calm them down or, stand behind Ahmadinejad and amp up the tension with some good ole rhetoric. Khamenei chose the latter.

Instead of wavering in his praise for Ahmadinejad, the "Supreme Leader" condemed the protests (and the West) and denied any voter fraud.. It's feared that tomorrow will see the bloody crackdown that many people have been waiting for this whole time. Or maybe they won't.

Either way, tomorrow will be a day that isn't soon forgotten.

A Poem for the Rooftops of Iran

Big Developments:

-The crowds on Monday were the largest since the '79 Revolution.

-A ban was put out on all protests, but on Wednesday the demonstrations were estimated to be over 500,000 people. In response, 15 protestors were killed by the security forces.

-Mousavi called for Thursday to be a day of mourning to remember the fallen protestors. An estimated 1,000,000 Iranians came out.

-A centrist Iranian newspaper reports 30 Iranian towns with more votes than voters registered. Some as many as 40% more.

-Top religious leader Grand Ayatollah Hossein-Ali Montazeri has called on police & soldiers to disobey orders to act against the protestors.

-The US House of Representatives has passed a resolution condemning the Iranian gov't and showing support for the protestors. Vote passed 405-1. Only person who didn't vote yes? Ron Paul. Doesn't seem to make much sense but his reasoning is rock solid.

General Shady Stuff:

-A secret letter between the Iranian Minister of the Interior & the Ayatollah Khamenei, . The letter was written the day after the elections and appears to show the true results of the election, with Mousavi winning and Ahmadinejad coming in third.

-On June 7, an open letter was written by members of Iran's Interior Ministry (which suprervises the elections) and addressed to top Iranian religious & political leaders. The letter detailed a plot that alleged religious leaders were prepared to allow voter fraud to keep Ahmadinejad in office.

-Iranian gov't has been publishing Photoshopped images of a pro-Ahmadinejad rally.

-A Canadian journalist, one of the few foreign journalists still in Tehran, was picked up by police. Roughed up. And lived to write about it.

-Iranian gov't has started tracking Twiiter accounts. All Twitters are urged to change your "Location" on your Twitter account to "Tehran" to confuse the Iranian gov't.

Some context:

You've gotta watch these clips.

I've been a big fan of Reza Aslan for a while now. No matter what the current crisis is in the Middle East, Aslan is always there waiting to help us figure it out. He not only manages to make really complex situations easier to digest but has an way of discussing these issues that highlights the positive aspects and leaves you with a seed of hope.

Rachel Maddow had Aslan as her guest on Wednesday night. His predictions for the significance of the day of mourning were so spot-on, Maddow had him back on Thursday's show. You won't hear commentary this insightful anywhere else.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

And again on Thursday:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

More Info:

Best sources of info around: Guardian UK live-blog and Huffington Post live-blog

Both have teams of people working around the clock to make sure the Iranians are being heard.

Images of Democracy in Action

2009-06-16T01:14:00.004-05:00

Despite a ban on protests, hundreds of thousands of Mousavi supporters came out on Monday, June 15, 2009, in support of their defeated presidential candidate. (BEHROUZ MEHRI/AFP/Getty Images)

Iranian student protesting outside of Iranian embassy in Rome. (Reuters)

Mousvia supporters on Saturday. (AP)

More to come...

You say you want a revolution.

2009-06-15T12:12:00.006-05:00

Rapid fire post.

The legitimacy of the Iranian presidential elections have come into question. With an average age of 26, Iran seemed poised to make a swing to the left and vote the polarizing Ahmadinejad out of office.

After extending polling hours three seperate times on June 12 because of an estimated 80% voter turnout, the Iranian gov't declared Ahmadinejad the winner after only one hour into the tedious task of counting the paper ballots. Sounds a little shady to me.

Opposition canadite Mousavi's supporters seem to agree. After hearing about the election "results" they took to the streets.

In order to suppress the backlash, the Iranian gov't has cut off Mousavi supporter groups' websites, all of Facebook, and all text messaging services in the Persian country. In addition to that, they've severely limited the ability to make international calls in an attempt to slow down the international press.

Buuutttttt....they for got about Twitter. Lots of great raw info coming out through the social media site. Damn it's great to live in the 21st century!

Current list of Iranians who are Twittering.

BBC video of protesters running off secret police so BBC can film.

Time.com: Was Ahmadinejad's Win Rigged?

Time.com: Photos from Tehran

Video of Iranian protesters burning an Iranian cop's bike then saving the same cop from being mauled by the rest of the protesters.

Will post updates when I can.

sing-song It's my burfday! It's MY burfday! It's MY BURFDAY!!

2009-06-11T19:25:00.006-05:00

June 11 is definitely one of my favorite days of the year. I don't know why.

The sun just seems a little sunnier today. The internet is moving just a little quicker. The high fructose corn syrup tastes a little sweeter.

Could be the best day of the year. Could just be me.

To celebrate, I've found one of my favorite Youtube clips to spread a little June 11th joy.

Hope this does the trick.

That's, like...deep, man.

2009-06-10T15:44:00.007-05:00

Whether you're talking the war on terror, gay marriage, evolution in the classroom, or even global warming; the underlying theme that is framing these debates is religion. More specifically: the infallibility of religion.

So, it was a breath of fresh air when I stumbled across this great article on Time Magazine's website called "Einstein & Faith."

Einstein described himself as "religious" but never admitted to following the Christian or Jewish faiths, exclusively. When asked what he meant by calling himself religious, Einstein replied with one of the best quotes I've read in a long time:

"The most beautiful emotion we can experience is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle. To sense that behind anything that can be experienced there is something that our minds cannot grasp, whose beauty and sublimity reaches us only indirectly: this is religiousness. In this sense, and in this sense only, I am a devoutly religious man."

Click here to read the full article. It'll give you a new perspective on what it means to be religious.

These are a few of my favorite things...

2009-06-03T02:07:00.006-05:00

A person I consider a mentor once told me, "People always say they hate advertising. But what they really mean is: they hate BAD advertising."

This is a picture of Ecuadorian team Barcelona Sporting Club's stadium Estadio Monumental Isidro Romero Carbo.

With a little black paint and some manual labor, Sony grabbed themselves 180,000 eyes staring at their logo for 2+ hrs. In the ad world, that's damn near priceless.

Modern day soccer is so dominated by advertising (ever heard of Red Bull New York?), it's easy to become jaded. So, it's nice to see an original idea.

I think the reason I love this so much is because it manages to be subtle, while it's punching you in the face. Like your girlfriend telling you a story about how she broke her new pumps today, while going through your wallet.

Just like yesterday.

2009-04-01T01:19:00.004-05:00

Artist: The Who
Song: Won't Get Fooled Again

And the world looks just the same
And history ain't changed
'Cause the banners, they all flown in the last war

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around me
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
No, no!

I'll move myself and my family aside
If we happen to be left half alive
I'll get all my papers and smile at the sky
For I know that the hypnotized never lie

Do ya?

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

There's nothing in the street
Looks any different to me
And the slogans are replaced, by-the-bye
And the parting on the left
Is now the parting on the right
And the beards have all grown longer overnight

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around me
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
Don't get fooled again
No, no!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss

Carl Sagan explains the Universe, for free, on Hulu.

2009-03-26T16:53:00.004-05:00

I came across an interesting article during my daily trolling of the interwebs. The Discovery.com blog post announces that Hulu is hosting the entire Cosmos series. Before this I had heard Carl Sagan but this was my first, true introduction.

For those who are as ignorant as myself, Carl Sagan was an American astronomer and author who simultaneously advanced our understanding of astronomy and astrophysics while still being able to present this incredibly complex information in a way that doesn't make your brain hurt. After I watched a few episodes, I could see why Cosmos is the most widely watched PBS program in history.

The popularity of the series propelled Sagan into "Celebre-scientist" status. An area occupied by very few. Guys like: Einstein and Wernher von Braun, before Sagan; and Stephen Hawking and (my man) Neil deGrasse Tyson, after. These men had/have a way of sparking an intellectual flame that is rarely seen in the public today.

So, soak up some free info. If for no better reason than:

Cramer admits to "shenanigans" but refuses to handover pot o' gold.

2009-03-13T19:18:00.000-05:00

I hate to write two Daily Show posts in a row but this story has been impossible to ignore. At current count, Google news has 1,400+ stories under the "Jon Stewart/Jim Cramer" heading. And it's still going.

Arianna Huffington, herself, made a post today where she wondered aloud about how CNN's John King interview of Dick Cheney would have gone differently if it would have been Jon Stewart asking the questions instead of John King.

Stewart's interview with the Mad Money host has been labeled at scathing attack on a honest and well intentioned man. But these critics missed the point of the interview. Stewart made it very clear that his attacks weren't aimed specifically at Cramer. Cramer just happened to be the one who stepped into the crosshairs.

This whole argument boils down to what role you think the news media should play in our lives.

Watchdog or Jester? Information or Entertainment? Bill Buckley or Billy Bush?

During the interview, Stewart challenged Cramer's network, "CNBC could be an incredibly powerful tool of illumination."

But instead of commending CNBC, Jon repeatedly rebuked the financial network. Even accusing of Cramer and others at CNBC of knowing that the "real" stock market is traded in a "backroom" and that these deals are "fast," "dangerous," "ethically dubious," and ultimately this secretive trading "hurts (the) long term market."

Heavy accusations but Cramer only answered with shrugged shoulders and meek apologies. Which was a recurring theme of the interview.

Too often today, intelligent conversation and insight are being traded for gimmicks and pandering. That's why we get journalists like Jim Cramer and Sean Hannity, and have to look to comedians for our news.

Personally, I hope the mass media wakes up and joins the emerging new-media companies that are bringing real journalism back to the table. Current TV's Vanguard series and The Real News Network are two that spring to mind. I believe, an informed and empowered American public is key to turning our country's fortunes around. If it takes dick and fart jokes to get people interested in politics again, so be it.

Here's the uncut interview. Salty language and everything.

Part 1:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 1

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Jim Cramer

Part 2:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 2

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Jim Cramer

Part 3:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 3

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Jim Cramer

Walk it off.

2009-03-06T15:18:00.000-06:00

Like the gift that never starts giving, these bailouts are being touted as the only medicine for out ailing financial systems but we seem to have been misprescribed.

The DOW hasn't recovered. The job market hasn't rebounded.

Same shit. Same storm.

To make matters worse, our financial leaders might not just be incompetent but corrupt as well. You're astonished, I'm sure.

Joe Nocera, a columnist for the NY Times, wrote a great piece on the continuing AIG bailout. Nocera came on 'The Daily Show with Jon Stewart' last Thursday to discuss his article and A.I.G.'s recent $30 billion prize from the Federal Reserve Raffle.

Nocera and Jon Stewart do a great job of giving the audience a soberingly simple view of the A.I.G. scam (his words, not mine).

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Joe Nocera

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Joke of the Day

Weird Science!

2009-03-04T02:08:00.001-06:00

Cognitive psychology was one of my favorite subjects in school. It's a science focused on discovering how we learn language, solve problems, and the concepts that our brain uses to define our world. (Why can't you remember everything? Does how you raise a child effect its adult life? How do you learn to speak?).

It was like they were trying to write a owner's manual for you brain. I ate it up with a spoon.

I learned your brain doesn't care much about your daily life. It quickly goes on autopilot, only perking up when the right stimulus appears. Autopilot is fine for most occasions but most people don't know their brains are set to idle.

I recently came across some videos that shows exactly what I'm talking about. Here and here. Enjoy.

Why Do I Play Soccer?

2008-08-28T00:18:00.000-05:00

On Sunday, I was at my bi-weekly pickup game/therapy session that is soccer with my Guatemalan buddies. I had finished lacing up my boots and started heading toward the field. On the way, some gringos playing football (not futbol but football) started hassling us about going to playing soccer with the "Mexicans."

Let me clarify, growing up playing soccer in rural West Tennessee has prepared me for the "Football v. Futbol" debate, many times over. I was not frazzled by these Frat-daddies in the least bit. But I knew the longer that I tried educate these unbelievers about the beautiful game the more soccer I would miss out on. So, when one of the MENSA candidates pipped up and asked "Why play soccer? Why don't you play football?" I simply replied "Leo Messi is why I play soccer."

They continued to shout and jump around and stand uncomfortably close to one another but I walked off knowing that if they ever took the time to look up "Leo Messi" that they would know I had won that argument, many times over.

5' 6", 21 years old, arguably the best player in the world, heralded as the "new Maradona"by the man himself, and not a hint of ego: Leo Messi.

Olympic Thoughts...

2008-08-15T02:09:00.000-05:00

-Michael Phelps. 6 Gold Metals. 6 World Records.

-Gymnasts are some bad S.O.B.'s . You know. For guys in tights...

-When I grow up, I wanna be Michael Phelps.

-The Soccer Gods are conspiring against Team USA. Only a loss will send us out. Our two best players are suspended. Get a red card in the 4th minute and lose 2-1.

-China put on a great "firework" show during the opening ceremonies.

-China knows how to find really cute "singers."

-According to the Chinese, their women's gymnasts are "16."

-What's the swimming equivalent of "Eat my dust"? I bet Michael Phelps knows...

-Michael Phelps should take up the pummel horse and help the US men out in 2012.

NYC Trip: As transcribed from the Orient Express

2008-07-22T14:54:00.000-05:00

My trip to NYC has ruled my life for the last few weeks so I've been M.I.A. from my blogging responsibilities. I figured this would be a good way to get back into the swing of things and let my friends/family know how the trip went. I'll break it up into a couple parts so the post isn't so long.

NYC Trip Part 1:

Pre-Trip:

Heidi and I took this trip to not only escape from Middle TN for a couple days but also to "feel out" New York as a possible post-college destination for the two of us.
We found bus tickets for $70 round-trip. Yes, I said round-trip.
To continue the good fortune, Heidi's friend Whitney recently moved to NYC let us crash at her place for the week. Whitney = Best. Hostess. Ever.

Saturday 7/12:

Packed our bags and said our goodbyes. Met up with our friend Veronica so she could drop us off at the bus station. After driving up and down Murfreesboro Rd. for 20 minutes we found the bus parked beside an International Grocery in Antioch.
Apparently, the same people who ran the grocery store ran the bus line. Seemed shady at first, but after closer inspection it seemed much more reputable (they sold live frogs, wouldn't you trust them with your life?).
After a quick scan of the crowd, Heidi and I concluded that out of the 40 or so passengers on the bus, there were only 3 of us who couldn't speak Mandarin. It was a little odd, to say the least.
Huge delay between Cookville and Crossville. A tractor-trailer flipped and dumped a chemical that creates hydrofluoric acid when it reacts with water. Both sides of I-40 were closed.
Wreck on the detour turned a 3 hr drive to Knoxville to ~11 hrs. Good start.

Sunday 7/13:

Almost positive I saw a man who payed for his ticket ended up driving the bus for a shift. Apparently, on our bus the only difference between the driver and the passengers are their seats.
Definitely saw the trip coordinator switch places with the current driver less than 5 miles before the Holland Tunnel. My guess is he's the only one with a driver's license.
After 24 hours on a bus, we got into town 8 hrs behind schedule (8 p.m.) on Whitney's only day off. Kinda a bummer.
Trip didn't conclude at Penn Station like our tickets said. Where did it end up? Chinatown, of course.
Tired, hungry, and disoriented. Then, we see Whitney's face appear out of an endless sea of Asians. I was never so happy to see her.
Tasted my first real pizza since about 2002. Passing Pizza Hut off as pizza is heresy once you've tasted the real thing.
Went back to Whit's place and promptly passed out in my clothes. I've always been a party animal.

Video Games, Scratching Yourself, and Other Productive Things

2008-07-06T14:47:00.000-05:00

As a young, American male who has been playing video games for the better part of two decades, I am living proof that video games will not ruin your life. Despite the claims to the contrary, video games are not a societal corrosive or something that bewitches our nation’s youth (Something that does bewitch our nation’s youth: Guys with mascara and girl pants. Why? I really don’t know). Regardless of the bad press, they can actually be quite a bit of fun.

I have recently forsaken video games, not because of the rage bubbling inside of me, but because of their ability to eat-up an entire day without you realizing it. Your grand plans turn into an afternoon of killing zombies and probably scratching yourself. Nothing you can put on your resume, for sure.

Seeing how it's so much easier to play a video game than read a book or any of the dozens of other things we could/should be doing it's no wonder they've become so prevalent in our culture. Imagine all of the things we could achieve if every time a gamer went to turn on their system of choice instead did something productive. Read the news. Call your mother. Floss your teeth. It doesn't matter what. Just something productive. The results would be surprising.

But every once in awhile a game comes along that makes you remember why video games are so popular in the first place. One of these games is the much-anticipated Spore by TheSims creator Will Wright. The massive single-player online game has been in development for eight years. The developers created an entire universe for the player to interact with. You begin by navigating a single-celled organism through the pitfalls of life. The single-celled organism evolves into a creature; the creature forms a tribe; the tribe evolves into a society; and the society conquers their planet then moves on to intergalactic travel. As you can tell the scope of this game is HUGE. The visuals are breath taking. But given the scope of the game, it seems safe to assume that given the popularity of the Sims series, this game will dominate people’s lives for years. The only thing certain is this game, due to be released in September, is going to be a massive hit.

Here is game designed Will Wright discussing his upcoming mega-hit:

Happy Independance Day!!

2008-07-04T15:54:00.000-05:00

I originally wanted to write a post about music or some of the other things I have on my mind, but seeing as it is the nation's birthday I feel like there should be a red, white, & blue tinge on whatever I write.

So I set out to find the video or song or website that most embodies the America I hold so dear. There were a few ideas that had potential: The annual Nathan's hot dog eating contest (which came down to a sudden death "dog-off"); the injustice of California banning fireworks in some parts of SoCal (wildfires, shmildfires); or even a blurb about the Declaration of Independence.

But then I stumbled across YouTube gold.

In my opinion, this clip captures the essence of the current American dream: to become so wealthy and popular that nothing you do seems outlandish. We have a professional boxer in a sequined Uncle Sam costume who has become so popular his entrance involves Vegas-style dancers with peacock feathers on their heads, enough mini American flags to keep the factories in China humming for weeks, and James Brown gettin down with his bad self. How can you beat that? I'll tell ya how, by adding a splash of Cold War-ambiance circa 1985.

Enjoy.

(Oh and try and block out the memories of Apollo getting his ass handed to him.)

1st Post:

2008-07-01T14:58:00.000-05:00

The title of my blog might be a little confusing but it's meant to be an homage to the late George Carlin.

He once asked, "Are we so much better than chickens...?", "...you don't see chickens in drug-gangs...when's the last chicken you heard about came home from work and beat the shit outta his hen?"

That was the brilliance of Carlin. He could say something completely outlandish/offensive and then, through his amazing analytical skills, justify what he just said while revealing social truths about ourselves and end it all with a joke. Brilliant.

George Carlin is the inspiration for most of the people who inspire me today. He was fighting for free speech before most people knew it was something you needed to fight for. Dedicating this blog to his memory was my way of saying "Thank you" to a true American hero.

(Chickens...starts about 4 minutes in.)

Chickens Are Decent People

High Five New York City

HeadOn! Apply directly to the forehead. HeadOn! HeadOn! AHHHH!!!

Eight years after, "What now?"

Miracle Whip, condiment of the hipsters.

Derby della Madonnina

"The Conscience of American Journalism"

Everything's real!

Smaller. Faster. Smarter.

Kill the clutter before the clutter kills you.

Advertisers don't like crazy.

They are talking about me.

The Little Revolution That Could.

Images of Democracy in Action

You say you want a revolution.

*sing-song* It's my burfday! It's MY burfday! It's MY BURFDAY!!

That's, like...deep, man.

These are a few of my favorite things...

Just like yesterday.

Carl Sagan explains the Universe, for free, on Hulu.

Cramer admits to "shenanigans" but refuses to handover pot o' gold.

Walk it off.

Weird Science!

Why Do I Play Soccer?

Olympic Thoughts...

NYC Trip: As transcribed from the Orient Express

Video Games, Scratching Yourself, and Other Productive Things

Happy Independance Day!!

1st Post:

sing-song It's my burfday! It's MY burfday! It's MY BURFDAY!!